I started 2025 with a simple goal: to improve my writing skills and begin the journey towards mastery of expression. A lofty goal. I was glad, though. Unlike most times in the past, I was aware of how challenging this goal would be. That awareness helped.
When I was younger, I was a fool. I have no shame in accepting that today. I was somehow convinced that no matter what I did, I would succeed. An arrogant and haughty outlook. Whatever I did, jobs or businesses, I did it without putting any real effort into it. Never once did I have the patience or the will to apply myself ardently to any task or goal. I began things with great enthusiasm, but soon lost all hope and fell back into doing the bare minimum. And I did that only because I was poor, and that meant that all effort that originated from me was only for survival. Obviously, I saw an endless string of failures. Defeat had become the norm for me. Excellence, expertise, and mastery were attributes that were alien to me. I had given up on life itself.
Everything changed when, through a series of unfortunate events, I finally saw myself, call it a bird’s eye view, for who I was and what I was. I really saw who I was. At first, I was angry, sad, and even offended with myself. But slowly, with time, my perspective began to change. I understood that I was lucky to have been able to assess myself with such clarity, depth, and honesty. I accepted who I was. But what I could not accept was who I was going to be. The past was not in my control; it was beyond me. The future, now that was within my grasp. I had the power to shape it however I wanted.
And so, when I began this year, two years after the change had begun, I was prepared to give every minute, every second to achieving my goal.
I knew that the only way forward was through continuous, relentless effort, without caring or even fearing the results. Every waking and sleeping minute, my entire being worked toward achieving mastery in one thing and one thing alone, writing.
Let me clarify further. The root of my motivation to write is not to sell books, make a fortune, or gain fame. When I say writing, what I really mean is the expression of the human soul.
In all my years, with wisdom that has come to me and that I have gathered, I know that expression of the soul is supreme; it is the only thing worth pursuing. Everything else—recreation, reproduction, legacy, materialism, fame, fortune—they are all distractions.
Expression is easier said than done. Authentic expression is elusive. Yes, many copy, mimic, feign, and fake, and it is also true that the world may not recognize the artifice, endowing such artists with countless laurels and praises. However, social validation does not and will not lead to that innermost, that most primordial, most singular form of satisfaction. Only true expression can endow the ecstasy, the rapture upon the soul.
To have true expression, one must become skilled in the craft.
And so, when I began this year, my goal was to master the skill of writing and become the master of my craft. I created a grueling regimen of reading, writing, speaking, and reflecting.
The first step was the easiest thought, but the most difficult to put into action. I stopped speaking in any language other than English. I stopped using Hindi as a filler language. And this forced me to think and respond in one language. The silver lining in all this was that I didn’t miss Hindi all that much. My mother tongue has always been Malayalam
The next step was to begin reading even more voraciously. A good writer is also one who reads a lot. This is the obvious advice, but the least followed one. From the start of this year until now, I’ve read more than 40 books. And I loved each one!!!
Lastly, I wrote almost every day on Substack, mastering the art of first-person narration.
I created notes for myself, I catnapped and daydreamed, introspecting, imbibing, analyzing everything I read and wrote. I paid attention to the words I had always assumed—wrongly, at most times—the meaning of, I understood the plot devices authors used, and I dissected the voice, tone, temperament, cadence, and style of writing. I cut out every form of distraction, every other attention-seeking digital parasite from my life.
Resolution, gravity, enthusiasm, and industriousness are the qualities that my effort carries.
And to ensure my journey towards mastery of my craft always has a favorable environment, I maintained physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
After several months of intense effort, I began writing my second novel in the first week of October. I am genuinely enjoying writing this one.
My second novel is the story of a woman fighting to be reunited with the love of her life in a hostile, post-apocalyptic world. This story is less about the crumbling world and more about the protagonist’s journey and the metamorphosis she undergoes. This story explores the truest, most profound, most unpolluted understanding of love, just like that single green sapling in the middle of a vast landfill.
I am halfway done with the first draft. Wish me luck.
